It's that time of the year again, and by that I mean the end of said year. Where we throw a lot of parties, drink lots of champagne (or whatever will get us drunk), and "look back" on our year. We have our share of smiles and tears, and promise ourselves that such-and-such will be different, or that we are going to start doing more of such-and-such. We revel in the good memories of the past year, and even rejoice in that we have a shot of "getting it right" again. As much as I often hate to class myself with the majority, I will admit that I am doing the same.
Some of my year is a total blur. This year alone, I completed an internship, while carrying a full course load for my TV/Film major, a part time job, producing my senior thesis short film, and still had some time to go social dancing (more on that later.) In May, I graduated with my BA, moved back home, worked my ass off all summer, and then took up some of my first gigs as a freelance filmmaker. So, you might understand the blur part...So, yeah, it's possible that somethings might have been lost on me along the way. Lessons unlearned, advice unremembered (or worst, mis-remembered), and plans unmade. They all might remain in the ether forever, except the ones that come back to slap me in the face. And that's just what it's felt like these past couple of months: a slap in the face.
Maybe someone told me. Maybe someone somewhere had tried to prepare me. Still, even if someone had told me about this hell hole, it still couldn't have prepared me for how THIS was going to feel. By this, I mean now. This "phase" of life. I've been referring to it for months as the "messy transition," so I will continue calling it such. It's messy because nothing in your life makes sense, and it's a transition because you are not where you want to be, mostly because you don't know the "where," and you dread referring to the "here." Is "here" just living at home? "Oh, still living at home?" "Yeah, just trying to get my feet underneath me." Get your feet underneath you so you can go to the "where"? Is the "where" a career? "BA in Communication? Well, where are you going with THAT?" When, in the end, maybe the "where" is something that is not "here." Anything but this.
First off, let me say that I know that I am not unique in this regard; I know that I am surrounded by innumerable millennials like myself who are "figuring it out." When I "bemoaned" how no one talked about the transition phase, my friend exclaimed, "We should write a book!" A little overboard? Maybe. But I have no doubt that my words will (perhaps reluctanctly) resonate with some of my peers.
Actually, maybe this what they meant when they said, "No one likes you when you're 23."