Omitted: The Messy Transition

It's that time of the year again, and by that I mean the end of said year. Where we throw a lot of parties, drink lots of champagne (or whatever will get us drunk), and "look back" on our year. We have our share of smiles and tears, and promise ourselves that such-and-such will be different, or that we are going to start doing more of such-and-such. We revel in the good memories of the past year, and even rejoice in that we have a shot of "getting it right" again. As much as I often hate to class myself with the majority, I will admit that I am doing the same.

Some of my year is a total blur. This year alone, I completed an internship, while carrying a full course load for my TV/Film major, a part time job, producing my senior thesis short film, and still had some time to go social dancing (more on that later.) In May, I graduated with my BA, moved back home, worked my ass off all summer, and then took up some of my first gigs as a freelance filmmaker. So, you might understand the blur part...So, yeah, it's possible that somethings might have been lost on me along the way. Lessons unlearned, advice unremembered (or worst, mis-remembered), and plans unmade. They all might remain in the ether forever, except the ones that come back to slap me in the face. And that's just what it's felt like these past couple of months: a slap in the face.

Maybe someone told me. Maybe someone somewhere had tried to prepare me. Still, even if someone had told me about this hell hole, it still couldn't have prepared me for how THIS was going to feel. By this, I mean now. This "phase" of life. I've been referring to it for months as the "messy transition," so I will continue calling it such. It's messy because nothing in your life makes sense, and it's a transition because you are not where you want to be, mostly because you don't know the "where," and you dread referring to the "here." Is "here" just living at home? "Oh, still living at home?" "Yeah, just trying to get my feet underneath me." Get your feet underneath you so you can go to the "where"? Is the "where" a career? "BA in Communication? Well, where are you going with THAT?" When, in the end, maybe the "where" is something that is not "here." Anything but this.

First off, let me say that I know that I am not unique in this regard; I know that I am surrounded by innumerable millennials like myself who are "figuring it out." When I "bemoaned" how no one talked about the transition phase, my friend exclaimed, "We should write a book!" A little overboard? Maybe. But I have no doubt that my words will (perhaps reluctanctly) resonate with some of my peers.

Actually, maybe this what they meant when they said, "No one likes you when you're 23."

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Monica Lickona

Monica Lickona is a graduate of DeSales University in Center Valley, Pennsylvania, with a degree in Television and Film and a minor in Theatre studies. Proudly hailing from McGraw, NY, she is excited to contribute to Gumption Magazine! Monica currently works as a freelance script supervisor and filmmaker on the East Coast, and be open to whatever life throws at her! Her goals include a career as a script supervisor, a ballroom dance instructor, and traveling as much and as often as she can! Keep telling stories.

Don't Hate. Appreciate.

Seems everyone is triggered these days. After this year's most hotly-contested election, our American society is seemingly becoming more and more divided. Issues such as gender equality, racial equality, and freedom of religion are commonly debated face to face or via social media. However, these debates today are increasingly becoming less about logic and reasoning and more about simply being on the opposing side. There is a problem with only talking and not listening. In the end, everyone is talking over each other and no one is open enough to consider a new point of view. Some may think this is no big deal but the point is the very essence of the human race depends on openness in order to allow progress as a society.

Historically, people have been known to live and die for their beliefs. Further more, many have sacrificed themselves, in the name of their beliefs, only because someone else came along with a different set of practices. The unfortunate result of this has been violence and oppression. But why is this? Well it’s simple, fear. People naturally fear change from tradition. This is understandable only because people live and base their whole life around their belief system. So to question or even threaten their beliefs system is parallel to threatening their very way of life.

This fear of change, as history has proven, only leads to misunderstanding, confusion and ultimately hatred. But how can we prevent this from going this far? A common answer to this question is simply tolerance. Now this is term has been used for years in aid to bring people together. The only thing is, tolerance doesn’t seem to be the best term for use of it’s intention. The definition of the word tolerance according to oxford dictionary is; The ability or willingness to tolerate the existence of opinions or behavior that one dislikes or disagree with. Although use of the term tolerance has very good intentions it also hindering at the same time.

Simply being tolerant of others doesn’t allow much room for people to open their minds to a belief and/or culture that differ from theirs. Not to be confused with the idea that everyone should abandon their views and sprout for something new. What openness allows is appreciation. Appreciation for others allows the comfort of either joining in on said belief system/culture, or the option of merely appreciating the contribution that belief system/culture has made to our society. Our society is highly individualistic causing the human race to have a myriad creed and customs. And for thousands of years these very dogmas and practices have shaped the society we live in now. They have contributed to the arts, food, architecture and countless other things that envelop peoples day to day lives.

Appreciating different contributions means to also understand those very differences, leaving no room for fear. Without fear, people are free to learn from one another, permitting a chance to listen to a different perspective that would not have been present otherwise. The human race is one race, one collective group of beautiful eclectic individuals pushing their way towards progress.  And progress demands appreciation; it demands understanding; it demands courage. It demands freedom. 

Different

Different

If you are happy with you, in your life, in your sanctuary; if you are not hurting anyone in your ways; if you are making your own way in life, never change. Be yourself. Be unique. Be different. Be challenging. Be quirky. Be a 15-year-old girl crying over her fictional hero's death in a class of ignorant peers.

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Just a Little Pussy

Just a Little Pussy

There are two entirely different cultures when it comes to dating and starting new relationships. There's womans' culture, where women share text messages between her and her new beau with her friend, shares all the incredibly sweet things he's said, some of the daring and naughty things that excite her, and lavish complements about how enchanted she is with a male. Then there is mens' culture, where men don't really share the sentimental things, and as far as I've been told by males, they talk about the dirty and the naughty. Little else is really talked about, some minor complements on landing a girl, but the rest is history. One of the major mens' culture discussions this piece focuses on is how men are often insensitive about relationships, and even devalue another man's feelings to a basic need for "pussy."

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