For the longest time, I was really depressed about my gender identity. I still am, sometimes, but it's mostly gone because I found answers to my questions.
I never really felt like a girl. I always identified myself as a boy : I always liked "boy" stuff like video games and weapons and even cars; I'm comfortable wearing geek t-shirts, sport bras to flatten my chest and baggy pants or shorts. I'm strong, I build up muscles easily and I have short hair.
But I also like to be super girly sometimes and I do have quite a collection of nice lil' dresses. I have a favorite cosmetic brand and I can't leave the house without foundation. My perfume smells like roses and I spend so much time trying to look fine in my boy clothes, you have no idea.
I was confused and tortured between my two-gender identities when transgenders became a hot topic this year. And I must admit that I was scared : I was scared to discover I was a transgender person. I was scared of the label. I was scared of everything it could imply. So I ran from the articles which explained the phenomenon for a while, until one night I had enough and I decided to look into it.
I wanted to know what I was.
And what I discovered was a relief : I am not a transgender. I am androgynous.
How does that work, now? Easy, let me explain to you :
There are two scales when it comes to gender identity : the binary one and the non-binary one.
1) Binary scale
On the binary scale, you basically have the woman who identifies herself as a female on the absolute left, the man who identifies himself as male on the absolute right, and the transgender person is in the middle. Here's how Wikipedia explains it :
2) The non-binary scale
That's where it gets complicated and some would say "weird". Non-binary genders include everyone who identify itself as neither male or female. You can both at the same time; male sometimes and female some other times; female with tiny bits of male and the other way around; between male and female, etc. Here's a short explanations of some non-binary gender identities :
As for myself, I am androgynous most of the time but I'm also a bigender.
Understanding this really helped me figuring out what I am. I am not female, I am not male. I'm in-between and knowing this helps me sleep at night.
And I hope this article can also help some of you understand who you are, what you are.
But remember, we're all made of stars!