The Jump

In one second 4.3 people are born, in one second the earth travels 18 miles and in one second a honeybee flaps its wings 200 times. But in one-second Addison’s heart stopped. Earlier that day Addison decided she would be called uptight for the last time.

            For 28 years of living she’s heard it more than she liked to admit. But for it to be the very reason she didn’t get the long awaited on air journalist position, her dream position, sent her confidence on a free fall. Apparently to the execs she came off as “uptight” on camera and they were looking for someone more “fun”.

            No one at the NXT network put more heart and soul into their work than Addison. Even starting as an intern she put in 60 hrs. a week. Everything she did was thoroughly planned out. Even on her free time she never ceased to find the best stories and she spent countless hours of revision to cover all possible angles. Her friends, though she had very few, constantly told her to loosen up but she couldn’t even if she tried. The problem was if Addison were not to be completely thorough in her work she’d become overwhelmingly nervous she might have missed an important fact or point. This relentless worry caused restlessness that would then make her too tired to focus at work, which in turn made her anxious. Addison had become a perfectionist to combat her anxiety. Plus her hard work is what earned her two promotions in the 6 years she’s been at NXT. The moment she heard word of the on air position opening, she was sure hands down it was hers.

            The moment she stepped out of the office is the moment she accepted the rejection and it literally knocked the breath out of her. Breathing more shallow unable to stop replaying their words as they repeated round and around in her mind; “too uptight” “over thinking” “positivity was forced” “non impulsive”. Her heartbeat sped up even more as she realized there was nothing she could do. She wasn’t impulsive; she planned out everything she did. She was uptight for the sole purpose of being perfect in everything she did but it would be impossible to perfect her personality to be fun. Her thoughts and their words caused a vortex of dismay making her dizzy. She’d never felt this way before, rapid heart rate, short of breath, dizzy. All she could do was run away, away from the rejection filled office and away from her emotional response.  Unfortunately, her newfound fear caught up to her as she reached the lobby, she braced herself on a bulletin board. Her insides seemed to be squeezing in on themselves; she took in slow shaky breaths to push through the pain. She didn’t like this feeling, she tried to focused to clear her mind. The pain slowly subsided and as she took in another breath, her eyes fixated on a flyer for skydiving. In that moment she decided she never wanted to feel this feeling again. She took in another deep breath, ripped off a tab and walked to her car.

            Now here she was, the buzz of the plane flooded her ears, air blasting chilling her skin, the stranger she was strapped to gave her a thumbs up, it was the "go ahead" signal and all she had to do was return the gesture to confirm the jump. Addison began to bring her hand upward, she didn’t think of what would happen next, she didn’t think of the landing, she didn’t think of what would happen once it was all over. Addison just let her heart fill with thrill and let her nerves feel excitement. Her hand formed a fist and the second her thumb came up was the second Addison’s heart stopped. It stopped being old Addison’s heart and Addison’s new heart took over and never ceased.