How's your dating life?

My dating life at this point is nonexistent
because that's how I appear to men
It seems I have to crack a smile on their face with a joke just to get their attention.
At least when I lived in Bethlehem
That housed mostly white men and white women
That only had eyes for one another
So everyone else was just kinda left in the gutter
Sometimes the gutter wasn't such a bad place
If you decorate it nicely and freshen the space
But see I'm already incredibly insecure
So that just made me hate it even more
And I know it's gonna sound like I need a guy's validation
To feel beautiful in this appearance shaming nation
A very common issue amongst our generation
That's why women plaster pics of their body on the gram
With these unnatural waists, tits, hips, and ass
Women that didn't need all this extra tightening and plumping
Until People magazine and them made us feel like nothing compared to the Kardashians, Rihanna, Yonce and all the rest
That need all the money and beauty professionals in the world to look their best
But we often forget
And just so we're clear
The only thing more annoying than asking about my dating life is telling me that I don't put myself out there
By women that don't have to work as hard as I do
Every male friend I've made most likely came through you
All of my male friends I made through my female friends
And each time it's always been the same accidental process
The male approaches as I'm interacting with a mutual female friend in my natural state
And once he realizes how down to earth I am we become good mates
See my issue is not making friends it's who to trust
So when it comes to getting to know people I'm in no rush
And honestly guys are not really willing to put in the extra effort
If you ain't cute and then you wanna act like you better
So when a guy doesn't give up so easily it throws me for a loop
And so I know it's really real I wait till he makes the first move
And although it's nothing compared to a kiss or a hand up my blouse
Just to be acknowledged in the halls makes me wanna cheer out loud
Like the last guy I liked
He was totally my type
This full healthy beard for someone of short height
At first I wasn't a fan because he seemed like every other man
Didn't have much to say
So I went about my way
And a few months went by before we saw one another again
I was just in the office waiting for someone to attend
And in he walks with an even better beard
And a pleasant greeting with my name attached at the end that made me change gears
I'm not sure what impressed me more
The beard or that he knew my name
But it was all I could think about for the rest of the day
Would he say it again if he saw me in hall
If his friends were around would he even have the balls
To say hi Dominique how are you
And I would say it back with a smile underneath it all
Eventually I developed a crush on this kid
But it didn't go much further because he has a girlfriend
But he will forever remain special to me
Because he made me feel like a human being without having to do a comedy routine
And I think I mistook his ability to make me feel special for having the same feelings for me
So I have to tell myself all the time that he was just being friendly
Months later I can't say that I'm 100% over my crush
But when it comes to dating I'm in no rush
Bc I obviously still don't know my worth
If a simple hi from any guy makes me go berserk.